I’m So Goth

I’m so goth people touch me and they become goth. They say, “Oh no, now I’m goth!”
I’m so goth my dog barks, “Bauhaus Bauhaus.”
I’m so goth, when I’m sleeping people come and check my pulse.
I’m so goth, I don’t have a pulse.
I’m so goth, I make Happy Meals cry
I’m so goth, Robert Smith asked me for my autograph.
I’m so goth, the dark is scared of me.
I’m so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.
I’m so goth I dyed my belly button black.
I’m so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it “black black.”
I’m so goth, I don’t say “black,” I say “blahhwwwkkk.”
I’m so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.
I’m so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator. 
I’m so goth I don’t paint my nails black–I bash them with a hammer.
I’m so goth I died and didn’t notice.
I’m so goth, whenever I knock on somebody’s door they give me candy.
I’m so goth that whenever I walk into a room, you hear “Toccata E Fuga in D minor.”
I’m so goth I don’t eat gummy bears, I eat “glummy bears.”
I’m so goth I sleep UNDER my bed.
I’m so goth I spend hours deciding what shade of black to wear.
My grandmother is so goth she uses gothballs.
I’m so goth I shower with bleach instead of soap.
I’m so goth I have a fishnet umbrella.
I’m so goth I always complain because my blacks don’t match.
I’m so goth that bats hang little plastic mes from their ceiling.
I’m so goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side.
I’m so goth, when I was little, I thought funeral processions were parades.
I’m so goth I make rainbows frown.
I’m so goth my clothes are made of dark matter.
I’m so goth I tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree–and it died.
I’m so goth I don’t laugh…I cackle.
I’m so goth, I don’t buy black clothes; I put them on and they TURN black.
I’m so goth when I go to sleep I wake up with a toe tag.

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